Talkitout

 One fine morning while I was having chai pe charcha with my grand parents I happen to take few valuable insights. During this lock down I not only got time to spend with them but also have a glance of how it feels like growing old but growing together…So here I am again with my personal blog to share some insights which inspired me to be  more grateful…

The first question I asked my grand parents is how does it feel like when not able to go out,roam around but staying inside for these long years due to aging?They told its nothing that we can do about but accept that we are getting old. However its the body that gets old, mann se to jawan hai(mind and heart is still young.I totally agree to this as they can give me real strength when I am feeling low…

Wisdom:Be in present and enjoy every moment of your life…

Second Question I asked them was how does it feel like not being able to do things all by yourself ?It’s definitely not a good feeling,more of mixed feelings where you have to kind of depend on others and its not something a self made man of the house or loving and dedicated wife and mother of the house would like to feel.Yes this feelings stay with us and comes out at times but  this taught us that its okay to ask for help and to see things in different perspective,do things differently then how we did previously.

Wisdom:Our ways of doing things and being an unique person does make us inflexible at times,yes we like go to do things by ourselves but its okay to ask for help, it’s ok to be dependent on our loved ones.

Third Question I asked was I see sometimes people getting irritated with each other during this lock down period.What is your mantra to stay happy,stay inside together for this long time?Just like others initially we did feel uncomfortable being with each other ,not able to go anywhere and stay between four walls.Today also we do get impatient with each other at times. But what really helped us growing together old and happy is accepting each other as we are,also could closely see how much care we take for each other in terms of small actions like remember favorite food and cooking them or making sure that your nani doesn’t skip her tablets.Appreciate each other even though things don’t happen as per one’s way.May be we missed all this while we were young in our days with lot of responsibilities to do.

Wisdom:I guess the Mantra here is accepting each other with there flaws,yes staying together can make us irritated at times but its nothing in compare to love and care shown by little gestures.

With enough of my sharing of insights I shall take  leave with few take away points which i will remember always and apply the same.

Take away points:1)Be Grateful.Be grateful to almighty for giving us chance to see a new day.Be grateful to each one around you. 2)Its okay to ask for help,its okay to be dependent.3)One has to be flexible to overcome challenges that life throws at us.4)Be more accepting of each others flaws.5)Be more forgiving because life is uncertain and we don’t know how much time we have with each other.6) Acknowledge each other and ignore small things which will not matter in coming years.

When Alcohol is consumed on a daily basis that starts affecting your personal , professional and social life and hence it is said that the person is suffering from alcohol addiction. Functionally all the above aspects of individual are affected. Once the addiction kicks in the individual feels to have more and more amount of alcohol to seek pleasure . This happens because the pleasure area of our brain is affected over a period of time when alcohol is consumed for a long period. Studies shows that if alcohol consumption is started at teen age , a person starts getting addiction within a year or two. Whereas if a person who starts drinking post 30 years of age it takes 5-10 years of age to fall for addiction. The few causes known for addiction to take place at early age are social pressure, peer pressure, out of curiosity to experiment new things, sexual abuse in few cases and difficulty controlling temper. When it comes to adults the reasons are majorly constant work or family stress, social pressure like having drinks in parties to be accepted, loss of near one or easily access to such materials

Now the question is how to identify whether the person is abusing alcohol or still having in limits:If there are changes in mood or behavior like becoming restless, irritable, lack of interests in activities that were previously liked, poor attendance in school,grades getting affected, frequent absenteeism at work place, rebelling against rules, not willing to do household work, physical or mental issues like unclear speech, lack of coordination, difficulty in memory, sleep disturbance, nausea, vomiting, sweating. Then these are warning signs suggesting to see a mental health professional who will help to control and recover through medicines and counseling .

Studies shows that based on cultural factors and countries approximately 10% of women and 20% of men have problem of alcohol addiction. In our country still there is a taboo of women abusing alcohol or being victim of alcohol addiction. But the important point to remember here is they are also going under same mental and physical changes and its equally stressful for women as well as the family. Often alcohol addiction problem is not discussed or hided at various places and the individual is seen as bad or labelled as alcoholic. One cannot change the society but one can be of help being a family by helping the individual to choose various correct choices and being there for him/her through out the process of healing.

Now the question comes to family members are what about the embarrassment caused due to addiction problem? Here we should focus more on our family member who is going through tough time rather than being concerned about what and how society will see it.

Many times question arises that how to help our family member who is going through addiction because we often run out of patience by merely telling them to stop drinking and what harm it does. Here one thing we should know is merely telling them facts will not be helpful as there is damage caused in one’s brain wherein the person loses his understanding of what is right and what is wrong. Controlling or stopping drinking habit is difficult for them even after knowing the consequences. First of all as a family member we should stop labeling and be more accepting of current scenario and your family member. Allowing space to talk his or her concerns and trying to know what is bothering inside when person is sober. Providing him or her with options like seeing a psychiatrist and counselor for help for faster and better recovery and there’s no taboo to it. Its just like any other medical illness where you require medicines and support. One can also attend support group meetings where people share there journeys of being under the influence of alcohol and how successfully they came out of it. For teens explore there what’s happening, any stress or bullied and know more about friends. Need to be more than parent and need to keep our fears under control only then we can patiently give teens the space needed to talk on substance abuse.

Many times patients have relapse and that are the most crucial times for the patient as well as for the family and often leads to loss of hope and give up attitudes. One should remember that its very natural to fall back to our old patterns to find comfort and that is what happens when patient has relapse because he finds easy to old drinking habits rather then working on himself or herself to deal with changes after stopping drinking.

For better recovery and reduce relapse important thing is adherence to treatment in terms of medicine and counseling as well as attaining self help groups that works on building support system and instilling hope that just how they came out of illness you too can. There are special rehabilitation centers designed for male and females to recover from alcohol addiction about which one can know from there psychiatrists and if suggested by doctor then one can enroll in such programs which helps in detoxing mind and body and teaching new ways to coping and staying away from drinking and change in atmosphere makes easy for the individual to quit drinking. Family members can also go for family therapy counseling to help the individual to deal with issues and how to reduce relapse by being an active support and also to make necessary changes in home environment if needed. Yoga, meditation and proper diet are one of the factors in healing from addiction and helps in restoring mind body synchronization that gets affected in addiction just like any other mental or physical diseases.

Do you have tobacco chewing or smoking habit? IF yes then this blog is important for you…As per W.H.O one million people are abusing tobacco. In India itself 3 crore people are having smoking habits.

Products like bidi, mishri of old times has been replaced with new forms of cigarettes, tobacco, pan masala and many more. Along with modernization this products are added with chemicals that are addictive in nature. Nowadays this tobacco addiction has also affected in school going children due to peer pressure or thrill to try out new things or as a learned response.

Physical effects of long term tobacco abuse or smoking includes cancer (specifically mouth/tongue cancer), heart illness as it thickens blood, lung diseases and redness in eyes. If it is abused by pregnant woman it can lead to miscarriage, weight loss in infant, mental and physical damage to the new born child.

Nicotine withdrawal includes physical and mental symptoms that make quitting difficult. The withdrawal symptoms depends on how long you have started smoking. This withdrawal symptoms can last anywhere from few days to few weeks. The physical symptoms includes insomnia, headaches ,cough, constipation, increase in appetite, dizziness and craving for more nicotine. Mental symptoms includes feeling anxious, feeling blue or irritable.

Tips on quitting smoking or tobacco eating habit:

Identify your pattern: DO you feel urge to have smoke or tobacco when busy or under stress or under pressure of deadline or being anxious.. There is always a reason behind starting such unhelpful habits and sustaining as a way of coping.

• Try to gradually decrease the frequency instead of stopping it all at once. Tapering gradually helps to avoid early relapse.
• Work on self control and try to find purpose as to what is more important for you if you remain as an healthy individual rather than having ailments in long run.

• Build your support system, talk about it to your close ones and seek help ,brain storming helps.
• Seek help of mental health professionals who are trained to help you quit unhealthy habits without judging you or shaming you.
• Develop a hobby or some time for oneself. That way new activity will help you give pleasure and new healthy habits can replace the old ones. It can be anything like jogging or gardening and many more.
• Keep a small diary or mark out days on calendar when you successfully avoid /decrease tobacco or cigarettes intake. By writing and going through it will make you more confident to quit.
• Not to be harsh on oneself if in case you fail once .Its always better to have bad attempt rather than not trying.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton